We all carry a
lot of guilt about past actions committed by the people we used to be ...in
other words ...by persona we have outgrown or discarded.
In some cases we
have succeeded in denying the mistakes we have made.
We try to forget
the people we were and to disown the decisions we made at the time.
But, in fact, most
of us made the best possible choices for the best possible reasons.
We did the best
we could, given all the circumstances.
However, we are
rather like the little boy who hides under the bedclothes, pretending that there
is a dragon under his bed.
Eventually he succeeds
in frightening himself so much that he is afraid to come out and look.
The most uncomfortable
times in our lives are not pleasant to revisit.
Often we are ashamed
of the situations in which we found ourselves.
So instead of trusting
the people we used to be and supporting them in their decisions, we simply shut
the whole guilt-laden episode away in the past, where it erodes our confidence
in our ability to make the right decision now.
In fact, like the
little boy with his imaginary dragon, we would actually be most relieved once
we had plucked up the courage to look.
I have very fond
memories of the therapist who helped me to sort through my hang-ups before letting
me loose on clients of my own. She said that she did not work with disturbed
or inadequate people, but with ordinary neurotic human beings like herself and
me.
It was a simple
statement, but an unconditional expression of her faith in my ability to take
the first step on the arduous path to self-acceptance. Her confidence in me
helped me to regain confidence in myself.
She did it.
I did it.
Many other people
have done the same.
You can do it too.
You are a unique individual
with tremendous potential. You can be happy, self-confident, and successful.
You only need a little help to understand why you think and feel as you do and
how to forgive yourself. You only need a little encouragement to accept yourself,
warts and all, to reclaim many of your lost abilities and get on with building
yourself the life you want.....more
"The turning point in the process of growing up is
when you discover the core of strength within you
that survives all hurt. --Max Lerner "
