I remember lying in a hospital bed, drifting in and out of a world in my head where I was learning to maintain the integrity of my being, to control pain, to heal my damaged tissues and to create peace of mind.

It was visiting time. Two women walked past, casting curious glances at my distorted head and immobilised torso and legs. "If I was like that," one whispered to her companion, "I would ask them to put me down."

Thirty years later, having survived several marriages, raised three children, travelled extensively and pursued three separate careers, I bless the lorry driver who was not paying attention as the traffic lights changed. I still use the techniques I learned during that period of immobilisation and have been able to pass them on to many clients who have since become friends.

I was even fortunate enough to have an out-of-the- body experience at a point where I was thought to have died. It was a watershed in my life. The euphoria of loving acceptance I felt then has changed my whole perception of the way things are.

I realised that I have always carried a spark of that love and chosen whether to experience it or not. Then I allow myself the awareness that I am a part of the whole of creation, a link in the chain of energy that forms the universe.

Through that link I can tap into energy in times of need, or form a nexus in the net, a focal point of love, radiating towards me and away to wherever it is needed most, freely channelled, freely given or gratefully received.

For me, happiness is the habit of cultivating awareness of that flow. Unhappiness is when I forget what I am and allow myself to be isolated, lonely, ill, afraid ... a wounded animal and nothing more.

Happiness is not a constant thing. It ebbs and flows. At times it is compounded by the lovely things that happen to me. At times it is augmented by my willingness to listen, to feel, to trust and be directed by an inner awareness. At times it seems altogether to have disappeared and at times it is too much to bear.

It is a wonderful gift. But I may spend the rest of my life learning, not to control it, but to let it happen.

When I am busy with the practicalities of day to day, it is a background of security. When I am unable to function normally, it is time to remember and renew an old acquaintance. Since I am human, I can forget, allowing myself to become discouraged before rediscovering the power.
Like a battery, I think I sometimes need to be completely flat before I can take up a full charge.

In religious terms I used to think that I was so headstrong that my Heavenly Father needed to bring me to my knees before I would pray. But those down times, when I berate myself for my idleness, "Come on, you lazy bitch, you could if you tried!" (knowing, all the while, that I could not) are, in retrospect, the times I need to switch off from being busy and productive in order to become aware again of the source and purpose of my spiritual strength.

So,for me, happiness is the ability to find beauty, joy and purpose in everything, in every person and in every task; to feel connected to and sustained by a vast network of unseen purpose and to enjoy, without restraint, the simple pleasures, satisfactions and occasional triumphs of being myself.

It helps to start each day by saying thankyou for existence itself; to be aware of the priceless and irreplaceable gift of time - not as a pressure but a joy, to do with it whatever you want; to seek at least one experience of full awareness each day, whether of another person, a flower, an animal, or an ordinary object. (A soap bubble is a magical thing).

It also helps to cultivate the habit of wonder. To allow things to happen and to be able to think at times, "Whoever would have thought this morning that I would be doing this this afternoon?"

Allow yourself a new experience every week. Try things you did not think you could do, or feared you might not enjoy. Experience is all, to be alive, to be unafraid, to welcome every change.

Perhaps it is a little extreme for some, but I have never forgotten the advice of an old Yorkshire doctor. "If you want to live to the full", he said, "Go away, forget all that's wrong with you and say 'No' to nowt!"